


wire

by ko_mma



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: American Sign Language, Mute Loki (Marvel), Norwegian Sign Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2019-11-21 02:35:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18135956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ko_mma/pseuds/ko_mma
Summary: After falling through the void and ending up with Thanos, Loki manages to escape and lands on Midgard, where he tries to navigate working for Shield and living amongst Midgardians.





	1. Chapter 1

The sun was just beginning to creep over the horizon as Loki returned to his small apartment.  
He´d woken up in the middle of the night, drenched in cold sweat, shivering and hyperventilating, and after he´d been able to breath again he´d headed out into the cold night. When he´d ended up at the edge of the forest and his hands had stopped shaking, he´d started to exercise until his muscled had been screaming at him, and his mind had been blissfully blank.

Now, Loki stripped himself naked and stepped into the shower. Showers were something he liked about Midgard. They were efficient, practical, quick. The soaps however… most of the stung the eyes and smelled offensively obtrusive, but thankfully he had been able to find plain unscented ones.  
Loki closed his eyes as he massaged his scalp. He was so tired, but he hadn´t wanted to go back to sleep. Hadn´t been able to. The last time he´d peacefully slept a whole nights worth of sleep had been before… before -  
he turned the water as cold as possible and then got out.

When Loki had first crashed on Midgard, Norway more specifically, he´d kept to the forests and lived in the wild until the worst of his injuries had healed and he could trust his limbs had stopped shaking constantly. After that, he´d been able to pull a black tunic and leather pants out of a dimensional pocket with effort, and he´d started to walk. The first house he found, no one had answered him. At the second house, the man that had opened the door had looked him up and down and closed it right again. The third house Loki came to, an old lady with a white braid had come to the door and asked him if he was lost. After Loki had pointed at his throat and shaken his head the lady has ushered him inside, introduced herself as Åsa, given him paper and pencil and then made him tea. He´d explained that he´d run away from home and then gotten into trouble, and no idea where he had ended up now. Luckily Åsa hadn´t demanded further elaboration, but gotten a map and pointed out their location. It had turned out that he´d landed west of where he´d wanted to end up, but it would only take him a week or so to reach by foot. Åsa then had surprised him by making him bread, which he´d chewed slowly and carefully for he hadn´t actually had anything to eat for… some time.

When Loki had finally left – Åsa had actually found a pair of shoes and thick socks that she´d said were her sons but insisted he take, and given him a piece of paper with some numbers written on it for him to ‘call’ – he´d felt some of his usual optimism return. He´d eventually become nauseous from the food but he only threw up once and he´d only had to rest twice before he´d reached his destination. An old stone hut in a forest far from any housing in the north of Norway.  
The last time he´d been there had been with his brother a couple hundred years ago. The hut looked worse now but due to the magical warding he´d placed on it it was still standing. The inside was how he´d remembered. A single room with a cot next to a fireplace and a few rusted pots hanging above to it, a table with two chairs and a cabinet. He´d collapsed onto the cot with a sigh, burrowed himself in the rough bedding and fallen asleep.  
Of course, he´d awoken in panic and disorientated after sleeping long but fitfully, until he´d realized where he was. He´d hugged his knees to his chest then and leaned onto the wall. _What now?_ Indeed, what now? He´d escaped and he´d survived, but what was he supposed to do now? Going back home wasn´t an option, not after what he´d done. The people thought him dead anyway. Thor thought him dead… _It´s better that way_ , Loki´d thought. Did his brother even know what he was? Did their parents tell him? How had he reacted? Had he been shocked, disgusted? Perhaps he´d thought it good then, that Loki had died. Loki had certainly wanted to die then and he still thought it´d been better had he actually died. But now that he´d made it through, he might as well live. Start over on Midgard, where no one would recognize him. Of course, he would never see his mother again, or his brother – _No. It´s better this way. You´re a monster. No mother deserves a son such as you´ve been to yours._

Loki´s whole body had hurt and his head´d pounded but he eventually´d gotten up to take stock. He´d found an old pair of pants wrapped around a knife and two tunics, three healing stones (thank the Norns!), two more knives, an old book from Vanaheim with scrawled on papers between ink-stained pages, and a small sack with gold coins. He´d taken the smaller knife and stuck it in his left boot, and he´d instantly felt better.  
The reminder of that day Loki had gone to the creek not far from his hut, and bathed himself as best as he could. He´d carefully washed his wounds, which he had tried to ignore so far, but had started to burn as soon as they´d made contact with the water. The healing stone he´d brought along had soothed the worst, and the ice cold water numbed the rest. After, he´d shifted into his cat form ,which had gone surprisingly smooth considering his condition, and found himself something to eat. When he´d finally gotten back to the hut, he´d been entirely exhausted but full and clean, and he´d curled himself up on the cot and slept.

 

The first thing Loki had done when he´d reached the city he lived in now - or rather the first thing after passing out from the long trek he´d had to make from his hut - , was change his gold to a currency he could use. He´d been pointed to a place where a stern looking man, who had squinted at Loki the entire time, had explained to him to him that this gold was worth very much in what he´d called money. Upon asking where Loki´d gotten that much gold, he´d said it was inheritance from his grandmother, which had apparently satisfied the man for he´d then given Loki a stack of coloured paper for the gold. Next, he´d gone to a baker´s store and bought a whole loaf of bread, which he´d eaten while exploring the city. It was shortly after he´d finished his bread that he´d discovered the library. Inside´d been large halls with walls of books and when Loki had selected a random book and had sat down at a table, he´d found some sort of comfort in this so familiar setting. He´d returned to the library every day, spending his nights in the near forest, most often in his cat form.  
It was one day when Loki´d put his book back into the shelf and made to leave, that a woman with long brown hair, who Loki had seen at the reception and walking along the bookshelves, had walked up to him. ‘You´ve been here quite a lot. Are you researching for something? I´m Ella by the way.’ Loki had internally sighed. While he´d been eternally grateful that his brother had made them learn English, Russian and Norwegian sign language fairly recently, Loki had quickly come to realize that the average Midgardian did not understand him like that. Usually the only time he´d had to interact with people is when buying food, and he´d been able to manage that good enough so far.  
But now that women´d wanted an actual answer from him. He could have just ignored her and gone , but the thought of a real conversation´d sounded embarrassingly exciting. So he´d signed, _‘Do you know sign language?’_ The woman´d stared at him, so Loki had interpreted that as a no. ‘Oh, I´m so sorry! Would you mind writing it down? Come, I have a pen back there.’ She´d led him behind the reception to a back room with blue walls, pulled some paper and a pen out of a drawer, sat down at a small table and´d looked at him expectantly. ‘Here. Do you want something to drink? I can make tea if you like.’  
Loki´d sat down and taken the pen. ‘ _Water would be nice. And to answer your previous question, I just come here to read because I enjoy it._ ’ Ella´d gotten up after reading the first sentence and´d set down a glass of water in front of him. When she´d read the second sentence, sher eyebrows had climbed up her forehead. ‘Every day? I´ve seen you here in the mornings and in the evenings. Don´t you have a job?’ Loki had hesitated a moment before writing, ‘ _I´ve just come here very recently and haven´t found a job yet._ ’ ‘Oh, ok. Why did you move? I mean, if you don´t want to talk about it, that´s okay. You know, I grew up here, I could help you out if you want. Introduce you to the locals maybe. Show you the best place to get coffee.’ She´d played with a strand of her hair as Loki´d shown no interest in answering to that. ‘Uh, yeah… So. Do you already have a particular job in mind you want to look for? What was your employment before you came here’ That question, Loki´d been prepared for. ‘ _I was working as a translator. But I´m not necessarily looking for a job as a translator here, I´m open for new things._ ’ ‘A translator! Cool. What languages do you speak? Oh god, I´m sorry, I mean understand...’ Loki´d smirked at her. ‘ _Don´t worry, it´s fine. I specialize in ancient languages, like ancient Greek or old Norse, but also a few others._ ’ ‘Hm..’ Ella had mustered him thoughtfully then. ‘You know… My grandfather runs this library. I just help him out because he´s too old to manage it on his own. I´m here for the summer only because of him, I actually study Biology in Oslo. He wanted to hire someone but nobody applied. That´s why I came to help him, otherwise he would have had to close the library. You know, there aren´t very many students here that have to use a library, but the locals love my grandpa and they do enjoy a good book once in a while. So, if you wanted to, I mean honestly it´s horribly boring and you spend most of your time alone organizing books, but if you wanted too, I could tell grandpa that there is an applicant...’ Loki´d already begun to write. ‘ _Yes! I would love that. I don´t mind dealing with books all day, as you can probably tell. I assure you, I am acquainted with the ways of a library. I understand my inability to speak might prove a hindrance but I´ll do my best to make that up. I can do a trial period if your grandfather wishes, to determine whether he will consider hiring me._ ’ Ella´d laughed. ‘Honestly, I think at this point grandpa would hire anyone. But from what I can tell you are more than qualified. And for the speaking think, just write like you do with me, that works out great. The people here are nice people. Oh, and what´s your name?’ ‘ _Luca_ ’  
And so Ella´d introduced Loki to her grandfather Arn, a kind but slightly addled elderly, and Loki had gotten employed as a librarian.  
By then he´d also found a small flat to live in, plain and at the edge of the town but inexpensive, and the money from his new job´d covered the rent almost completely. And as Loki´d wanted to rely on the gold money as little as possible he´d started to look for further options. So when Ella, who´d come by to say goodbye for she would soon be leaving for Oslo, suggested him looking into on-line translating, he´d done just that. At first, he´d gone with the computers of the library, and as he´d found that there were indeed various options to earn money by registering as a translator on the internet, he´d gone to an electronic shop and invested some of his gold money in a foldable computer. Soon after, he´d been able to sustain himself with his two sources of income, and he´d began to settle into this new life.


	2. Chapter 2

John groaned as he leaned back in his chair and stretched his arm over his head until he heard joints popping. They´d been at this for days and days now, had done research, had tried everything they could think of – and they still had no clue what this scripture was about. When Agent Coulson had come into their office almost two months ago and handed them this task, John´d been excited because on these scrolls, that looked to be made of some sort of very old parchment, were glyphs that he´d never seen before. He´d researched and researched and gone form archive to archive, but he´d found nothing. The only clue they´d gotten came from a book: some mythical records of the ancient Norse about the Svartálfar, the Dark Elves, where there were similar glyphs mentioned. But other than learning that he was apparently dealing with mythical elvish, John still had no idea how this language worked, the grammar, anything. He couldn´t translate it, couldn´t make any analysis, couldn´t tell whether it was a declaration of war or a cooking recipe.   
At the desk behind him Lisa was spinning circles in her chair. "Find anything new?” "No. Honestly, why are we doing this? Some Vikings a thousand years ago thought it funny to invent a language for Elves, and now we think it´s some secret code. Maybe it says _this is your quest! To defeat the evil Orgs you must venture into the mountains and find_ … Ow!’ Lisa grinned as her pen hit its target. "Sorry, but it´s either you or the computer. But as frustrating as this is, Shield wouldn´t have concerned us with this if it wasn´t important. Maybe terrorists use this language to communicate. We can´t know if it´s nonsense or not until we translate it.” “But how are we supposed to do that? We´ve been at this for weeks and we got nothing.” “Not nothing. We know it´s Ancient Elvish.” John through her a dirty look. “Yes, because that´s so helpful.” “Well, maybe the away people have found out something more.”  
The away people was what they´d taken to call those members of the linguist team of shield who had been assigned to do old school research in libraries and archives across the continents, and John didn´t envy them for that. But Lisa was right. In fact, it was one of the away people who had found something resembling their glyphs in the old book about Vikings and Viking Gods in a Norwegian library. After that, more agents had been sent to Norway in hope of finding more detailed records. They hadn´t been told exactly why they were doing this, only that a scroll had been found and that it was to be translated. Which made it all the more frustrating.   
"I just hate that there is no description, no explanation or anything. The only thing we found about these glyphs is half a page. Maybe someone though this up.” Lisa sighed. “Listen John, I agree with you, but our superiors have their reasons for wanting this translated. So quit complaining and do your job. Shield dind´t hire you for no reason.” "Thanks a lot, now I feel like a complete failure.” Lisa laughed. "Well, this makes us all look like high schoolers on their first Latin assignment, so yeah, I get it. How about we take a break. It´s four already and I´m starving.” "Ah shit, I completely missed lunch! Yeah, let´s go. Pizza?” “Pizza”

When they returned forty minutes later in a considerably better mood, the phone on John´s desk had a missed call and a text reading _"Might have something. Collins.”_ John stared. "If this is just another stupid mention of a fairytale I swear...” Lisa punched him in the shoulder. "Well, why don´t we just call and find out.” Tim Collins was one of the away people and currently in the north of Norway. He picked up after the third ring. "Collins.” "Miller here. And Brook.” Lisa turned the phone on speaker. "Please tell me you´ve got something good.” She could hear Tim sigh over the phone. "Well, I´ve made it to some city that if you trust the locals used to be a prominent Viking settling, and the library here certainly has tons of literature on lore and myths. You wouldn´t believe in what kind of weird shit the Vikings believed.” Lisa changed a hopeful look with John. "I didn´t, however, find any more books with information about our scripts.” "COLLINS! You said…!” "BUT I spoke with the librarian and he seemed to know more about these _Darkelves_ than the books. His name is Luca Frijason and he is some sort of experts on ancient myths and languages. He even offers translation services on-line.” John frowned. "Why haven´t we heard of him before?” "The guy is apparently pretty reserved. He values his privacy. Doesn´t usually do personal stuff.” "But does he know that language?” Lisa asked impatiently. "He said he once studied the language of the myths, but when I tried to get more information, he wanted to know why and I had to pretend to be merely curious.” "But he would potentially be able to get us further with this?” "I´m guessing. Even if he can´t translate it, he might be able to tell us what we are dealing with, if it´s even an original or not.” "Ok. Good work, Tim. Well take it to Coulson to see how to proceed. Keep observing this guy – what was is name again?” "Luca Frijason. F-R-I-J-A-S-O-N.” "Thanks. Keep at him and try to find out as much as you can. Well contact you when we have new orders” "Got it.”  
Lisa puffed her cheeks and exhaled slowly as she hung up. "Please let this Frijason guy be as good as Tim makes him sound. Then we can _finally_ have something concrete.” John still looked skeptical. "This sounds a little too good to be true. How does this guy now so much more than us? We have dozens of agents out there doing research!” "Well, he isn’t an expert for no reason. Maybe he studied with exact those books we can´t find. Or he did his own research from stories that were passed down orally. We´ll see soon enough how legit his knowledge is. Right now what we have to do is get to Agent Coulson and figure out how to get this guy involved.”

After they´d talked to Agent Coulson, IT-people, and done some more research, they´d found out exactly three things about Luca Frijason: He´d moved to some small town in Norway almost a year ago, he worked there as a librarian, and he offered his knowledge on ancient myths and languages on-line; all of which Tim had already told them. They found no place of birth, no education, or any other records. At first it seemed that Frijason was just a very private guy with no friends, who spend all his time holed up in the library in that less than modern town, which John and Lisa could agree didn´t seem to far fetched for someone who dedicated his life to books, and more old books. But when even further hacking into hospital and school records yielded no results, that had complicated things. Either this guy had changed his name and identity and started a new life, or he had been born and raised without leaving any records. Which raised the question of why and how. What did he have to hide? And how did he manage to hide it so well even Shield couldn´t find it?  
John brought up another alternative. "Maybe he´s working for a secret agency, like shield. Maybe they also got something on this mysterious scroll and have their own agents doing research. That would explain why he knows so much about some weird Viking fairytale, more than we were able to find.” "Or, maybe he just spend his whole life gathering all he could on ancient myths and then made a living out of it,” Lisa said, "Either way, we have to take advantage of this. We can start small and see how he reacts. Our priority is to translate that scroll, and if this guy can help us with that, we have to take that opportunity.” "We can´t just send him a picture of that scroll if it is so important.”  
"And we won´t be doing that.” Lisa and John both jumped as Agent Coulson walked into the room. "We´ll have a professor interested in ancient Norse lore send him a professional request. That will include a small section of the scroll, only a few words, to see if Mr. Frijason can interpret them. If he does, we´ll recruit him. We can always make use of someone with special knowledge and no background. I also want someone there to observe him. I want to know who he is, what he likes, dislikes, if there is any clue as to where he came from.” John raised his hand and lowered it again at Coulson´s raised eyebrow. "Err, Sir, we have Agent Collins doing that… “ " And I want everything he´s got. But we have no idea what we´re dealing with here, and that Frijason could be dangerous. I need someone specialized in working with people, who can read them, get information out of them without them noticing… Miller, Brook, send that email. Alert me the minute Mr. Frijason answers.” With that, Coulson left, already having his phone at his ear as he walked through the door.   
"Well,’ John said, "let´s get on it.” 

**

Loki came home that Friday night thoroughly exhausted. He hadn´t slept the last week, instead spending the nights reading or exercising, and even though with his Asgardian day and night cycle he generally only needed to sleep every second Midgardian night, his body _and_ his mind were now screaming at him to rest.   
He blindly fumbled his coat onto the coat hook next to the door, kicking of his boots in the process, and then slumped onto his sofa, scrubbing at his eyes. He would have probably fallen asleep right then and there, if his stomach hadn´t begun to cramp painfully. When had he last eaten? Loki made a low sound of displeasure, forced himself to get up and made the easiest thing to eat he could find in his small kitchen. After that he brushed his teeth and curled up in bed. 

He slept until well after dawn that morning, having awoken a few times panicked or disorientated, but going back to sleep almost right after. The severe nightmares, that had him wake screaming and hyperventilating and needing to assure himself he was here, he was safe, had lessened over time. Which most likely resulted from Loki avoiding sleeping until his brain was too tired to remember and his body too exhausted to react to any terrors his mind assaulted him with.   
He rolled out of bed and pulled the curtains of the window back. There was a layer of snow on the roofs and piles of white on the sides of the street where the snowplough had shoved them. Loki had loved the snow as a child, playing in it with his brother until he´d become so cold Thor had taken his stiff fingers into his own warm ones and rubbed them until Loki could feel his blood flowing again. He briefly wondered whether it was his Asgardian form that couldn´t deal with the cold or if it was a result of Odin blocking his Jötun form. Maybe a mix of both. Right now, however, the only feeling that these first signs of winter brought him were bitterness and hate, hate for his fathers lies, for the Frost Giants, for himself. He clenched his teeth and balled his fist until his skin burned from his fingernail digging into the flesh of his palm. He took a deep breath through his nose. _No_. No. That was in the past, and Loki lived in the now. And now was a Saturday and he didn´t have to work at the library, so he brushed his teeth and then spend the next few hours reading in bed.  
It was after noon when he finally finished his book – a historical novel, and he´d been fascinated by the insides into the recent events on Midgard – and got up to shower, taking his time to leisurely massage shampoo into his scalp. He then made himself porridge with almond milk and a lot of cinnamon and ginger, and it almost tasted like something they had in Asgard. After he finished that and got dressed he added a couple different tiny braids to his hair and tied the top half of it back. His hair had grown long, and now reached over his shoulders. When he had first come to Midgard, it had been greasy and tangled and limp, but Loki had taken great care of it ever since and even cut a few inches off the ends at some point. Now, his hair hair felt somewhat healthy again, and his natural curls didn´t look like a complete mess any more.   
Loki stepped outside, determined to enjoy this weather, and be it from pure spite. He wanted to take a walk before starting on translating requests, so he headed outwards of the city, until he passed the last houses and narrow roads. The world was quiet here. Everything was covered in fluffy white, the field he was walking on now and the trees that were scattered about it. The harsh wind was biting into his skin as the snow crunched underneath his boots. A few sun rays coming through the clouds made everything glitter like the crystals in the Bluecaves on Vanaheim. Loki paused, strands of hair whipping around his face, to take in this snowy landscape. For all the resentment, the bubbling anger he´d felt, he couldn´t help but realize that this – this sparkling white, sharp and intense - this was beautiful. 

Loki had almost reached the forest when he turned to walk back. Big snowflakes were starting to make their way to the ground, floating here and there as the wind picked them up. Loki took his hand from his pocket and held it palm up. The cold bit into his skin as snowflakes settled there. He brought them closer to his face, where he noticed the clearly visible filigree pattern of the individual snowflakes. He _also_ noticed that they didn´t melt on his skin. He wiped his hand on his coat, stuffed it back into the pocket and walked faster.

Back at his flat, Loki packed his laptop and went straight to the café he would do some work in. "Luca! How was your week?” Svenja, the young woman working there greeted him with a grin. In his time living here, Loki had gotten to know some of the locals, Svenja being one of the more talkative ones. She´d told him that she was a student at the university a few hours away but she lived here with her parents and did most of her courses on-line. And she´d genuinely surprised Loki when, upon learning he was mute, she´d made an effort to learn some basic (and some coffee related) sign language. So when Loki signed back, " _My week was good. How was yours?_ ”, Svenja answered, "Great! I finished an assignment last week, you know, the one I´ve been complaining about, and I asked the cute guy from Chemistry 2 on a date. And he said yes!” Loki couldn´t help his amused smirk as Svenja had to push her turquoise rimmed glasses back up her nose after a particular excited bounce. “ _Finally. I thought you´d never approach him and spend you existence pining instead._ ” Svenja had such a lost look on her face at that that Loki pulled out the pen and notebook he always had in his bag and wrote it down. Svenja blushed when she read it and said, "Oh, don´t be so dramatic, I wasn´t that bad.” Loki just raised his eyebrow. Svenja liked to talk, and since Loki was one of the few people seemingly her age here, that was apparently reason enough for her to inform Loki of the newest gossip of her social adventures, and she _had_ mentioned that guy a lot. Not that Loki minded that, rather the opposite. It was nice having someone friendly talk to him, about things that didn´t include him and didn´t demand anything of him. Things that were normal, that normal people with content lives talked about. And if Svenja needed someone to listen to her, well, listen he could.   
"So, what can I bring you? We have flavoured coffee now, cinnamon spice and vanilla,” Svenja asked after a couple had come in and seated themselves in the brown, cushioned chairs.   
" _Just black coffee, please._ ” Svenja rolled her eyes. "Alright, the usual then. Black coffee is on the way.”   
Loki let his coffee cool down some as he went through the documents he´d just finished, a translation from Arabic to Norwegian. Most of the requests he received were to translate something into Norwegian. He´d started with that when he´d first tried out this whole translator thing, and that had worked out well. After he´d had contact with other people in that field and after some research, he´d delved into the realms of ancient history, and the requests of translating ancient languages had been surprisingly high. In a way that was easier for Loki, as with the newer languages there ofter were phrases that he didn´t understand or words that didn´t make sense and he´d have to do more research a lot of times. But overall, it was easy enough for Loki to do and brought a lot of variety.   
So Loki finished the jobs he´d begun working on and started on new ones, taking care to drink his coffee before it was cold and unenjoyable. After sending the last of these documents, he opened his inbox again. The newest e-mail was from a Professor Brook, a literature professor who wrote he was focusing his work on the Ancient Nordic languages right now. Apparently he had acquired a piece of manuscript he couldn´t decipher. Loki clicked on the attached file to take a look at it. It was a picture with only a few word visible, but they had Loki´s eyebrows draw together incredulously. He stared. These glyphs were old, very old, used thousands of years ago by the Svartálfar. Only very few people knew their language any more, and most of them were scholars and sorcerers, so how did a Midgardian come into possession of this? Loki worried at his bottom lip as he kept staring at the words. He had studied his fare share of Svartálfar literature, mostly to further his knowledge of Seiðr, and he´d understood these few words as soon as the file had popped up.

_‘…it will return to its rightful darkness, and we shall…’_

We shall what? What will return to darkness?   
Loki pushed his fingers through his hair until they caught in the knot at the back of his head. This was strange. Very strange. Where in _Hel_ did that Midgardian even get this? And what exactly was this? And this couldn´t be the whole thing, this vague string of words, so why was he only sent a part of it? Because Loki wanted the whole thing. Badly. But to expose potential secrets of the Svartálfar to Midgard…   
They´d just take it as old myths not to be taken seriously. Yes, there was no danger in translating this for one Midgardian. Most likely. Probably.  
The skin of Loki´s lower lip gave to the pressure of his teeth, and he forced himself to be still. He would reply, and then work with what this Professor Brook could give him. He could always pretend to not know. But this was something Loki couldn´t just let pass, as risky as it might be. This was a text from the oldest species, in a place where it shouldn´t be, and even if it turned out to be not really important or useful, Loki was curious, so very curious, and that was a sensation he couldn´t let unsatisfied. So, licking the blood from his bitten lips, Loki pulled up the e-mail again and typed his answer to Professor Brook.


	3. Chapter 3

Natasha had breakfast watching the snowstorm through the window of her small bedroom in the local apartment SHIELD had put her in. It had been a few days since she´d arrived in Norway. Until now she´d gotten herself acquainted with the city, and also watched Luca Frijason from a distance. Today she would go to introduce herself and the job she had to offer. She took another look on the file Phil had handed her and frowned. She knew way too little about Frijason. Usually she could understand the people she was tasked with, knew what they wanted and how to manipulate them… But Phil had told her that they couldn´t find anything about Frijason other than current residence and job. That fact alone made Natasha suspicious, because she knew very personally what it meant to not be traceable. That was also the reason Natasha had convinced Phil to come to Frijason as an official representative of SHIELD. She wouldn´t explain _exactly_ what SHIELD was, but she figured a few open card could be in their favour here.

Natasha followed Frijason to the café Agent Collins had told her about. Inside, she sat a few tables away and watched Frijason chat with the blond waitress in a mix of sign language and writing on his and a lot of talking on her side, before the waitress took his order and went on. Collins had also told Natasha about the waitress, who, although insisting that Luca Frijason was a very nice person who she talked to a lot, could not tell them anything they didn´t already know. So Frijason was somewhat sociable but not exactly forthcoming with anything personal. He was hiding something and Natasha was here to find out what.  
She watched him read while drinking a Cappuccino and pretending to look at her newspaper. He looked like he was in his early twenties, wore a dark green turtleneck and had his black hair neatly braided back. How did someone like him manage to know what SHIELD couldn´t find out, when he was young enough to be a student? But then again, if anyone should know not to judge a book by its cover, it was Natasha.  
A good time later Frijason finally payed and put on his coat to leave the café. Natasha followed shortly after, only to step outside and find him standing a few feet away staring at her. _He´d noticed her watching him._ Natasha forced herself to meet his icy stare with a smile. His skin was unnaturally white, matching the snow around them. There was something very off with this guy.  
“Natalie Rushman. I´m here on the behalf of SHIELD. You are Luca Frijason, correct?” She signed along while she spoke. “ _Given that you´ve been following me, you know that that´s correct. What exactly is Shield? I´ve certainly never heard of this before._ ” Natasha put on her gloves. “Let´s take a walk and I will explain to you who we are and what you can do for us.” Frijason raised an eyebrow, but gave a curt nod and gestured for her to go on.  
“SHIELD is the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. We look out for the unknown and potentially dangerous, and operate unseen by the general population. We work on an global level, and deal with everything from terrorists to scientific novelties. I am in the personalized section, so I work with people on an individual level, like right now.” Frijason looked unimpressed. “ _So you´re a spy._ ” He had put on black fingered gloves, which made it slightly harder for Natasha to understand him, especially since she´d just learned Norwegian sign language before coming here. “When I need to be, yes.” “ _And what does a spy from a secret organization want from me?_ ” Frijason´s stiff posture seemed to have become even stiffer, his face perfectly blank. What did he think they wanted from him? “Some time ago, a Geologist associated with SHIELD recovered something in a recent project of his.” A lie, but Frijason couldn´t be trusted with the truth just yet. “That something appeared to be an ancient scroll. It was of a kind he´d never seen before. He didn´t recognize the style or the language, so he came to us with it. And that´s how we became interested in you. We need a translator and specialist, and you seem to fit the bill. We are making you an offer. You can take a look at the scroll, and if you want to take that offer, we can discuss the specifics of your contract.” Frijason paused in his steps and turned to face Natasha. “ _And how exactly did you find me? Surely you have your own people specialized in this field_.” “Of course, but none of them were able to decipher the scroll. So we expanded our sources, had our linguists ask around in the circles of experts, and got recommended some freelancers, such as yourself. If there was anyone who we think would be better for this job, I would be with them now.” Frijason still looked skeptical. “ _Why do you think I can help you? If no one of your people could figure this scroll out, what makes you think I can?_ ” Natasha started to walk again, gesturing Frijason to follow. “Because we did our homework, Mr. Frijason. We gave a few sample words to every potential candidate, and you were the only one who could tell what they meant.” Frijason raised his eyebrows and looked slightly impressed. “ _Professor Brook, that was SHIELD?_ ”. Natasha nodded. “ _So a secret spy organization wants me to translate something Svartálfar?_ ” Natasha didn´t recognize that last word. “Something what?” Frijason signed it again, slowly. “ _S-v-a-r-t-á-l-f-a-r. The ancient Norse word for Dark Elves. You are aware that that is just lore, yes? Creatures of ancient Norse mythology. How can you possibly be interested in them?_ ” Natasha struggled to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear with her gloved hand. “The thing is, SHIELD doesn´t like not knowing things. And we have reason to believe that this language is being used by a certain group of people to communicate. They might become a threat in the future, or they might not, but SHIELD doesn´t take chances.” Frijason gave Natasha a doubtful look. “ _You think there are people using Dark Elvish to communicate. How is it that they possess knowledge of that language?_ ” Natasha watched him carefully, and said, “Well, you know of it, so there is a way to learn it.” Frijason looked straight forward as he signed next. “ _I suppose you are right. The Dark Elves just come up so seldom even in literature of Norse mythology, that it is rare to come across someone who has studied them._ ” “As we´ve noticed.” They walked in silence for a while, the only sounds the snow crunching under their feet. Natasha tried to watch Frijason´s face, but couldn´t get anything from his perfectly neutral expression. Finally, he stopped again and signed, “ _Alright, I´m willing to take a look at it. How exactly do you imagine this to happen?_ “ Natasha pulled a paper with her address out of the pocket of her coat and handed it to Frijason. “That is the place I´m staying at. Come there tomorrow morning, eight o’clock. There´ll be another SHIELD agent from the linguistics department to oversee the actual translating part. We would like to have you over the following Saturdays and Sundays, to get this done as quickly and efficiently as possible. Your payment will be accordingly, but we will discuss the specifics tomorrow. Do you have any more questions for now?” Frijason shook his head slowly. “Alright, then I´ll see you tomorrow.” With that, Natasha walked away, turning into the nearest alleyway that she knew led back to her apartment. 

**

Loki took his time walking back to his flat. He had been wondering about that Svartálfar text since the first e-mail Professor Brook had sent him, and now it turned out an entire organization wanted it translated. But why, and more importantly, _where in Hel did that come from?_ That woman claimed some Geologist had found it – and where exactly was he to believe? A Viking tomb? No, Natalie Rushman was lying. She was very good, admittedly, and a lot of what she had said seemed to be the truth, but not that. This SHIELD wanted him to help with the scroll, but they did not want to reveal its origin to him. Which Loki could understand. So he would go along with what they wanted, and be amenable – or try to at least – and find out what he wanted to know eventually. But his guess right now was, that it had somehow come to Midgard with an alien visitor, because one did not simply get their hands on Svartálfar literature. But if that was the case, what happened to the alien visitor? Were they still alive? And were they still _here?_ Because if so, Loki had to be very, very careful.  
Back at his flat, Loki´s excitement had overtaken his body and started to feed into that underlying current of anxiety Loki couldn´t quite get rid of. He was rubbing his hands and pinching the skin with his nails. He started to feel queasy. He didn´t want to eat anything and he couldn´t even distract himself with the new book he´d started the day before. Sleeping was out of the question. So, exercise it was. Loki put on a pair of dark gray sweatpants and a black sweatshirt over a matching undershirt, tied his Gore-Tex trail shoes (he´d learned the hard way that not all Midgardian shoes were as waterproof as they appeared to be), and grabbed his gloves on the way out. It was already dark, and the sky had cleared so that the stars were perfectly visible. Loki didn´t allow himself to linger too long on that beautiful sight, because right now he couldn´t also deals with the emotion _that_ would inevitable lead to, and started to run. He ran across the quiet town, around the park a couple of times, past the library and his favourite café, and then out of the town over the surrounding fields, until he reached the forest. There he stopped to go through a slow routine of fighting stances, following with a fast-paced sequence of motions. Loki had always resorted to these when he was filled with tension and needed something to ground himself. They also never failed to make his muscles burn and so thoroughly exhausted that his body didn´t even have a chance to react to his stupid emotions.  
Loki only stopped moving when the cramp in his right calf didn´t subside. He made his way back over the field trough the thigh deep snow. So a Midgardian organization hired him to figure out a document of on ancient alien culture that they didn´t know existed. That alone should prove to be very interesting, and coupled with the fact that Loki would get to read a Svartálfar document he hadn´t seen before… yes, this was a good thing. And this SHIELD sounded like something that could be quite beneficial to be acquainted with.  
Back at his flat, Loki stripped off the wet clothes and rinsed himself with warm water. As usual, he hadn´t really noticed how cold he had become, until he´d struggled to get his clothes off because his fingers were stiff and icy. He stood in the shower until his hair was soaking wet and the feeling returned to his fingers and toes, then got out to dry off and rub some oil into his skin. It helped with the itchiness and stiffness of the scarring, and it also just made him feel a bit better. Still, he decidedly did not look in the mirror above the sink until he was done and covered in some comfortable clothing. Next, he thoroughly brushed his teeth and applied some more oil to his hair, because he could, and because it made his hair soft and comfortable, and he enjoyed it, as meaningless as it might be. It still was a couple hours before he had to leave, so Loki boiled a pot of peppermint tea, made himself comfortable under the blanket in bed, and immersed himself in his book.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day Loki ended up entering a contract as a temporary consultant for SHIELD. Natalie explained a lot about requirement of confidentiality, the conditions which he'd be working under - all of which was rather boring and reminded Loki of every administrative meeting he’d been ever forced to attend -, and the payment he'd be receiving. After that was done and Loki had signed the contract, he _finally_ got to see the Svartálfar. Or rather, parts of it. He was shown only sections of the text at a time, and only photographs of it on a shiny rectangular device. He also wasn't allowed to keep any of what he translated, which Loki found a bit redundant. But SHIELD apparently took every precautionary measure they could, since they did not trust Loki. And, well, Loki didn't trust them either. So he read the parts he was given, translated them, and handed his papers to the man who'd introduced himself as Agent Collins.  
Agent Collins also wanted to do a what he called ‘debriefing’ with him at the end of each session, which mostly consisted of Loki explaining the meaning behind certain phrases and the grammar - or rather trying to, because how was he supposed to explain the possibly oldest language in the universe of an extinct species to a Midgarðian, who didn't even know the language of _one_ other species? At least Agent Collins knew multiple of the Midgarðian languages and had some sense of grammatical structures, so Loki did try his best.  
One thing that they discovered during all of this was that Loki knew English sign language. Natalie and Agent Collins were discussing whether Natalie was to translate everything Loki signed or Loki was to write everything down. At which point Agent Collins said that he knew he should have learned more that only American and English sign language. So Loki signed something to see if this English sign language was the same that he'd learned, and Agent Collins raised his eyebrows in surprise and said, "Right. You're a translator. Of course you'd know another sign language." And then, "Wait, how many do you actually know?" Loki _had_ taught himself several more in the past few months, but he didn't feel like volunteering all of it just now. So he just signed, _"Russian and German."_ And Natalie had arched an eyebrow at that, but said nothing.  
Loki knew Natalie was watching him, trying to get some information out of him; and he couldn’t blame her, for he was doing the same. He just had to be careful, of what he said and of how much he said; the Midgarðians and _especially_ SHIELD could absolutely not find out he was not only an alien, but a dangerous, most likely wanted alien. But Loki was good at hiding behind whatever tale he spun, very good, and he would fit right in with that organization of spies.

 

As the weeks went by, working in the library during the week and translating for SHIELD on the weekends, Loki realized just how dull his life had been on Midgarð. He had certainly needed that initial time after he’d escaped… after he’d arrived here, for his life to be event-less, to let himself recover – to an extent at least. Now however, the least thing he wanted was to be alone with his thoughts, and working for SHIELD proved to be exactly the right amount of distraction and excitement. Loki liked the library well enough - it provided him with a satisfying amount of new books after all – but he found himself looking forward to the weekends more and more. 

It was on a Sunday afternoon, after Loki’d finished the debriefing with Agent Collins, that Natalie sat down on the table in front of him and said, “You’re making pretty good progress with this scroll. At this rate you’ll have it completely translated in just a few more weeks. If you keep this up our linguistics department won’t want to let you go.” The corners of Loki’s mouth lifted in just the slightest hint of an amused smile. _”Oh, if they have got something else as interesting as this, I might just take the offer.”_ Something flickered in Natalie’s expression. She was pleased with that answer.  
Natalie crossed her legs at the ankle and leaned forward. “I was thinking, maybe we could go out tonight. Have a drink in honor of our partnership. I see you every weekend, but we’ve never actually had a conversation that was not work related.” Natalie gave Loki a soft, almost coy looking smile. It didn’t fool him in the slightest. “So, do you know any good places?” Loki leaned back and crossed his arms. On one hand he would rather not be interrogated by Natalie Rushman. Sure, they didn’t know each other, but Loki had seen enough to know how good she was at reading people. And he didn’t particularly want SHIELD to expand on the file that was labeled Luca Frijason and undoubtedly quite empty. But on the other hand… _“That sounds nice. And I do know just the place.”_ Natalie smiled an admittedly very charming smile. “Great. We can meet at the park entrance at eight o’clock, is that okay?” Loki nodded, and stood. With a last glance at Natalie, he put on his coat and headed to his apartment. 

Needless to say, he was not able to just relax and read as he’d planned on doing. Rather, he tried to subdue the nervous energy bubbling in his stomach by practicing with his knives. Until after one particularly excited throw the knife went straight through the wooden board he used as target.  
Well. He needed to get a thicker board.

 

**

 

Loki led Natalie to a small pub that was tucked between a tea store and a barber shop in a narrow side street. It was open until long after midnight, and Loki had discovered it on one of the many nights he’d been wandering through town.  
The pub was well visited, but not overly crowded. Loki and Natalie got ale and pretzels at the bar and then went to sit at a table in the back, where there were less people and the music was more dimmed.  
Natalie put her elbows on the the table and rested her chin on top of her folded hands. “So, tell me about yourself. How did you get in to translating? And why do you live here, of all places? No offense, but it’s not exactly very… eventful here, and you have to drive two hours to get to an at least moderately sized city.” _“ Well, maybe uneventful and plain was exactly what I moved here for. And I’ve always been good with languages, so I decided to make a career out of it.”_ “Where did you learn your languages? You must have started very early to be that good that young.” When Loki just gave a nod, but didn’t elaborate, Natalie tried a different approach. “So, you said you moved her for some quiet about eight months ago.” Loki raised his eyebrows and gave Natalie a look. She gave him an apologetic smile. “I told you, SHIELD always does their research.” Which really wasn’t a surprise at all.  
_“I’ve had a rather unpleasant experience a while back, and decided that some distance and quiet would do just nicely.”_ Natalie tilted her head. “What happened?” _“I’d rather not talk about that.”_  
While Loki had fabricated a back-story for himself, which he was ready to go into detail if necessary, the most believable lies were always based in the truth.  
Natalie slight declined her head and just said, “Okay,” before continuing with the next question. “So what did you do before all that? And I don’t want to be rude, but how old are you? Sometimes you look like you’re twenty, but then you come across as if you’re ages old.” Loki actually had to smirk at that. She was right, really, spot on. _“I’m twenty-one, actually. So old enough to do whatever I please, in case you’re wondering.”_ Natalie snorted. “I’ve no doubt about that.” Oh, if only she knew… _“But to answer your first question, I was living with my parents before, and still attending classes.”_ Natalie looked at him thoughtfully. “You must have taken a lot of extracurricular language classes then. Is you’re highest graduation high school?” Loki had several degrees from what would be the equivalent of a Midgarðian university, but he could hardly tell Natalie that. He was also aware that there were no records in any Midgarðian University or even school of him, and he knew that Natalie knew that, too. So Loki tilted his head, and made his smile casual and easy going. _“You see, I was home schooled. We lived in a very isolated area with only few people, but there were scholars amongst them who tutored the children. I’m not certain how my education compares to a standard education, but I did learn many of the languages I know there.”_ Which was true, for every child on Ásgarð was taught to use Allspeak.  
Natalie leaned back in her chair. “You sure have a thing going on there for living practically invisible.” Loki quirked an eyebrow. _“But thats hardly my fault now. I’m just trying to live my life.”_ Natalie seemed to consider that. “Right. It just seems a little odd that you’re parents didn’t register you anywhere, not even a hospital. And there is no trace of you on the internet either, before you started translating.” Loki shrugged. _“Like I said, I grew up in a very isolated community. There was no internet, not even phones. We were not really allowed outside of our village.”_ Natalie stared at him. “Really? Like in ‘The Village’?” Loki frowned. _What?_ “You know, the movie? … Never mind.” Natalie emptied her mug of ale and scrutinized Loki with a thoughtful expression for a few moments. “How did you leave, then? If your parents were so strict. Did you just pack your things and go?” Loki took his time to empty his own ale.  
_“Not exactly. I had an argument with my family, we fought, and I… ran away.”_ Put in one sentence like that it sounded pathetic, really. But oh, fight he did, the Frost Giants, his brother, himself… No, no, he couldn’t let himself dwell on that now, or ever really… He mentally shook himself and refocused on Natalie. She was looking at him with a suspicious expression, eyebrows drawn together sightly. “And when you left, you didn’t get an ID or passport or anything? For a person working and living a fairly normal life, to have no legal identification is kind of ...unusual.” Oh, normal was not a word Loki would describe his life with. _“You see, when I ...left, I ended up in a ...precarious situation, and establishing myself in any kind of social or legal way was not something I could afford worrying about. And once I’d left that behind me, and ended up here, everything sort of settled the way it is now. Or it was, anyway, before you contacted me.”_  
Natalie scrutinized Loki with attentive eyes. Loki let her. He was aware that someone like him would bother an organization like SHIELD immensely.  
Eventually, Natalie seemed to have decided that she would have to settle with what little Loki gave her, at least for the moment.  
“Right. I’m getting another drink.” Natalie grabbed her empty mug and stood. “You coming?” 

At the bar Loki ordered a Brennevin for himself, and Natalie asked for the same. Midgarðian alcohol didn’t really have that much of an effect on Loki, now that he was somewhat healthy again, but he did realize that liquor was considered strong for Midgarðians. But Natalie seemed like the type of person who could hold their alcohol.  
They went back to their table and nursed their drinks in silence for a while.  
Suddenly, Natalie spoke up. “You know, I was raised to be a spy by the Russian government.” Loki looked up form his drink. Well, that certainly explained a lot. “They called themselves the Red Room. Took young girls, like me, and trained them in martial arts, weaponry, ruthlessness.” Her gaze was fixed on Loki now. “They made us believe that that was all we had, that that was what we were. And for a long time, that was my life. Until SHIELD found me. They helped me to distance myself from the Red Room and it’s lies. They gave me the opportunity to use my skills for a better cause, and to fight against corrupt institutions like the Red Room.” Oh yes, by trading one organization of spies for another who claimed to be doing it for the right reasons. The worst monsters claimed the means to be justified by the ends.  
Loki dug his fingernails deeper into the opposite wrist underneath the table. He regarded Natalie. She was trying to get him to warm up to her, yet be intimidated; to maybe reveal some of his own dark secrets. But she also wasn’t lying. There was truth in those words, a lingering bitterness and regret. But also conviction, to be someone better perhaps. The way Natalie had spoken about SHIELD in the past, or about other agents... she made them seem more than the faceless organization they presented themselves as.  
_“You just left your past behind you? And SHIELD forgave everything you did?”_ Loki signed, doubtful. “No,” Natalie said, a thoughtful expression on her face, “but rather than to dwell on things I couldn’t change I decided to look towards the future. And SHIELD helped me do that. I know who I was. But I also know who I am now. And so does SHIELD.”  
Loki leaned back in his chair and took a slow sip of his drink. Was SHIELD just that noble? Or were Natalie’s skills so outstanding that they were willing to look past whatever Natalie had been before them. His immediate thought was the latter, but after a moment of consideration he was beginning to think that perhaps the first option had had some kind of influence, too.  
He put his drink back down and looked at Natalie. She was watching him carefully, giving him time to consider her words.  
_“That story is heartwarming, truly, but what exactly are you offering? I’m valuable for you at the moment, yes, but once the scroll is translated, you won’t have any need for me any more. You’ve already got capable linguists, you don’t have the need for extra.”_ Natalie raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes, so capable that no one had even the slightest hint of what the scroll was saying. Except you.” Loki scrunched his eyebrows together in annoyance. _“Exactly how many more Svartálfar texts do you need to have translated, Agent Rushman? As far as I understand, you only needed my assistance for this one. Do you expect to encounter more strange languages you aren’t able to decipher? And what makes you think I will even be of any use to you? Perhaps ancient Norse is the limit of my capabilities.”_ Natalie tilted her head to one side. “Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe we want to find out what the limits of your capabilities are. Because I think you’ve not been completely honest with us about that.” Loki pressed his lips together. Oh, she couldn’t imagine exactly _how_ right she was with that. “And yes, we have our linguists and translators, but what we don’t have, is a translator who also specializes in sign language. Seriously, that has caused some annoying holdups in the past,” Natalie said at Loki’s scoff, “and like I said, I think you’ve been selling yourself short here.” She brought her glass to her lips to take another sip, her gaze never leaving him.  
_“Say, you’re right, and I would agree to join SHIELD,”_ Loki signed slowly, biting the inside of his bottom lip, _“how is this supposed to work? I can hardly stay here, in Norway, but, as you so thoughtfully mentioned, I don’t have any legal registration here or anywhere. Which, I assume, is something you can’t just ignore, now, is it?”_ Natalie was smiling now. She was undoubtedly sure that she had him; and she did.  
“Oh, we’re going to have some more questions about that. And about the place you grew up. But don’t worry, we will supply you with a passport, you don’t have to worry about any legal boundaries.” She gave him a smirk at that. “And yes, you’re going to have to move. To New York, more specifically.” Loki squinted. That name sounded vaguely familiar. _“And where is this New York again?”_ Natalie stared at him a moment before answering. “The United States of America.” Ah, yes. The USA _did_ seem to hold a place of significance on Midgarð.  
“So, I’ll talk to the head office, and give you a contract next weekend, and you can read through it carefully. There’s no obligation. When this current assignment ends, we’ll leave and not bother you again, if that’s what you want.” Oh, Natalie certainly knew what she was doing. Loki had tried to avoid any kind of authority on Midgarð. Which had been fairly easy so far. But if he allied himself with an organization like SHIELD… perhaps he _was_ registered then, perhaps he _did_ have to reveal a little more than he was strictly comfortable with; but perhaps the benefits that would come along were just enough to make him seriously consider this.  
“Or.” His focus snapped back to Natalie. “Or you accept our offer, take care of what you need to here, and come with me to New York.”  
Loki watched Natalie’s expression. She was calculating, certainly, but there was no sign of deception in her words. Her offer stood as she said. SHIELD may have an additional interest in him accepting their offer since to them it was like he hadn’t existed until eight months ago; and because they wanted to keep an eye on him, try to get some more information out of him. But that, Loki could deal with. And being elusive under a watchful eye was something he had had _very_ much practice in.  
So he signed, _“That sounds reasonable. I’ll consider your offer most carefully.”_ Natalie nodded. “That’s all I’m asking for.” 

 

**

 

As Loki walked from the pub he consciously thought about his future for the first time since arriving on Midgarð. He had very much avoided that before. But now there actually was a concrete plan in sight, a place for him perhaps.  
Well. He first needed to sign the contract, and then he’d see how working for SHIELD and living in New York was actually going to be.  
But still…  
Loki didn’t feel like going back to the apartment just now. So instead he kept walking, outside the town, across the still snow-covered field, and through the forest. He walked until he reached what had become his favourite clearing, and curled up at the roots of a tree in his black and white bob cat form.  
Shapeshifting was one of the things that he could do without having to throw his innards up after. He really needed to get these damned bindings off. But he would worry about that in New York. Who knew, perhaps SHIELD also held a few surprises.  
But for the moment, he carefully groomed himself, avoiding the wrist he’d scratched raw in the pub, and then squeezed himself further into the netting of roots when his mind finally let him drift into a fitful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first of all, in this story Loki and Thor are the same age, and in the first Thor movie the coronation was because Thor came of age. So Loki has also just come of age, which makes him the equivalent to twenty-one.  
> Also, thanks to everyone for your kind comments, they really keep me motivated.


	5. Chapter 5

“So, how did it go?” 

Natasha was on the phone with Agent Coulson. She had been stalking Frijason during the weekdays, and kept Phil updated on everything, from grocery shopping to his nightly sessions of exercise. _That_ had told Natasha more about Frijason than everything else. Especially with what he’d said in the pub. The fighting poses Frijason had practiced were controlled, deliberate, and spoke of years of strict training. They looked light, flowing, effortless. But Natasha knew, intimately, that doing this, and making it look so easy, was not easy at all. It had taken Natasha her entire childhood and beyond that to be at the level she was at now.  
_Home schooled_ Frijason had said… oh yes, Natasha believed that, but exactly what else they were schooled in, he’d conveniently left out.  
In any case, Frijason was not just a translator, as he’d wanted them to believe.

“As expected. He’s playing a little hard to get, but he’ll sign the contract.”  
“Good. Did you find out anything new?” Natasha recapitulated what Frijason had told her in the bar.  
“Is he telling the truth?” “I think there is some truth to his story. But I also think that he purposefully trying to omit some things. The way he talked about his childhood… maybe he grew up in a cult, or some sort of organization...” “Do you think he’s hiding from whatever that is?”  
Natasha twirled a strand of hair in her fingers. “Yes. From that or the trouble he got into after running away – if those aren’t the same things, that is.” “We’ll keep an eye on that. Anything else?”  
Well... Natasha bit her lip. “I followed him after the pub. He didn’t go to his flat, but took a walk into the forest.”  
“And?” Phil prompted, “did he do anything new, or just the usual?” Natasha’s hand stilled in her hair. “Not the usual, definitely not the usual. I followed him into the forest. I lost him a few times, I mean, it was dark and the forest was dense, and once I thought I’d lost him for good. But then the trees became less, and I found him again.”  
“Okay.” Phil sounded a little confused. “And?” “And then he disappeared.” “Disappeared?” “Yes. One moment he was standing there and the next, he was gone.” “Well, you said it yourself, it was dark, you were a good distance away, and you were in a forest. Full of trees.“ “No,” Natasha interrupted him, “no, not like that. I saw him, I had my eyes on him the entire time. He stood there, and then, he just, disappeared. One moment he was there, the next he wasn’t. Poof! Just like that. He didn’t move, I _saw_ him, he just fucking disappeared.”  
A pause, and Natasha could hear Phil sigh through the phone. “Alright. You know, if this was anyone else telling me this… But you saw what you saw.” “Yes.” “Alright. Okay. How did he do it then? Some sort of technology? Stark has made things invisible, maybe it’s something like that?” “Stark makes metal invisible, not people. Besides, Frijason didn’t seem to have anything on him that could do that. If it’s some sort of technology, it’s not like Stark’s, and it has to work with very minimal equipment.” “ _If_ it’s technology? Natasha, what exactly do you think he did?” “I don’t… exactly know. But I’m beginning to think that he’s somehow ...enhanced. That training he does, how good he is at languages – and I’m almost certain he knows more than he lets on – and now this…” It was far fetched and Natasha had no actual proof, but her instincts told her there was something definitely not normal about Frijason. “And what he told me about his upbringing and the ‘precarious’ situation he got in after he ran away – you can’t deny how suspicious that sounds.”  
Natasha could tell Phil didn’t like it. “So what would we be dealing with here? Hydra?”  
She’d thought about that, too. “His story doesn’t really sound like Hydra. But maybe he’s lying, or maybe Hydra is expanding it’s methods.”  
“Or it’s something else.”  
“Or it’s something else.” Something else she didn’t know about and that had managed to keep itself a secret from SHIELD. 

“Well”, Phil said after a while, “once he’s in New York, with SHIELD, we can keep a closer eye on him. Figure out what’s his deal. Just make sure he doesn’t disappear on us until then. Make a good impression.” Natasha ran a hand through her hair. “Yeah, I’ll do that. I mean, I don’t know if he likes me, but I think he at least somewhat respects me.” Phil scoffed lightly. “Well, that’s one thing normal with this guy.” “Very funny, Phil.” But she couldn’t keep the smile from spreading on her face.

 

**

 

So New York was… a lot. It was loud and full, full of people, full of strange vehicles, full of irritating colours. Loki couldn’t decide if he liked it or if he hated it. 

SHIELD had set him up with an apartment. It was in a tall building with many other apartments, so there were still a lot of people around, and it was still not exactly quiet. But it had a separate room with a bed, and an actual kitchen, and although the bed had only white sheets and no actual duvet, Loki found a thin but soft blanket in a cupboard. 

He’d also found some smaller shops that were not so extremely crowded - as nearly everything here was - while exploring the area, and expanded his wardrobe somewhat. In Norway he hadn’t be around people all too much except for the few people that had visited the small library, and if he was being honest with himself, he hadn’t really cared. But now he was in a major city with a lot of people and had a job for a serious organization where he would most certainly have to work with other people, and he wanted to have more than just two long sleeved shirts, a heavy knit pullover and a sweatshirt.  
He had also gotten a few candles – it had been hard to find candles with a tolerable smell - and found out where the nearest library was.  
So, not too bad. He would manage here.

 

The SHIELD “head-quarters” was a gigantic gray building. A lot on the inside was build open and apparently these people loved to use glass. Everything was kept mostly gray or white, and brightly lit, and Loki felt just a tad bit uneasy.

The first day he got there, he had to endure yet another lecture. He was greeted by Agent Collins in the entrance hall who led him to the office of Agent Coulson. From the way Agent Collins said that name this had to be someone of authority here. 

Agent Coulson’s office was also mostly white and gray, with one side being glass instead of actual wall. But there were papers on the desk and a blue cup, books in the shelves, and even a few framed pictures here and there.  
Agent Coulson introduced himself and invited Loki to sit down. They went over the contract and conditions _again_ , and after Agent Coulson emphasized the importance and impact of their work at SHIELD Loki had to sign another confidentiality agreement.  
Agent Coulson also questioned him, mostly about what he’d already told Natalie Rushman. Loki was certain that Natalie had reported all of that to SHIELD and Agent Coulson already knew all of what he was asking. But Loki understood what they were trying to do, so he dutifully told his story again. Agent Coulson didn’t pry further about the ‘trouble’ he’d supposedly gotten himself in, but Loki was sure he would try to get Loki to warm up to them and so that he'd eventually talk. This was an institution of spies after all. 

And Agent Coulson… his expression was neutral bordering on friendly, he wore an air of confidence and knew exactly how to use his words and body-language for manipulation while still appearing open and approachable at the same time.  
Loki instantly liked him.

Before letting Loki go, Agent Coulson handed Loki some documents with a little booklet and a small plastic card with his name on it next to the small picture that Natalie had taken of him in Norway. And his card as an official Agent of SHIELD. 

 

Agent Collins picked him up in the hallway, and on the second part of his first day at SHIELD, Loki got a tour. Agent Collins led him around the building, pointing out the different sections, talking about projects and accomplishments.  
Loki also took note of all the corridors and closed doors Collins left out.

Finally Agent Collins introduced Loki to the linguistics and communication department. Many of the people paused and looked up from their desks as they walked in.  
“Hey everyone, this is Luca Frijason and he’s the newest member of our department. Say hi.” Loki was met with of chorus of hello’s and hi’s, and looks ranging from curious to skeptical. He gave a little nod of acknowledgement and let his eyes wander. The number of people in this room was manageable; but apparently SHIELD only needed actual translators or linguists when the Agent assigned to a case couldn’t manage on their own or an official translation was needed.  
Agent Collins led Loki to an empty desk that was going to be his work-space, and showed him how to create an account for himself on the SHIELD server while Loki was trying not to get too distracted by the extremely comfortable swivel chair.  
“Here is where you can check your mails. It’s a SHIELD-internal server, so it’s impossible to hack into. Well, except you’re Tony Stark...” Loki turned his head to look at Agent Collins, who was leaning on the desk with his forearms next to him, and raised his eyebrows in an fashion that said _‘Oh?’_.  
Agent Collins waved it off. “Don’t worry about Stark, he’s not going to bother you.” Nevertheless; Loki filed that away for later research. “Anyways, once you get an assignment you save the original on your computer before you work on it. If you are stuck and want to involve another agent, you ask me, or Agent Miller, she’s the deputy head, and suggest an Agent if you want to, and we’ll assign you a team project. And once you’re finished, you send it back to me and also save a copy on your computer. You have different folders on the desktop, like for assigned projects, finished ones, works in progress.” He moved the little arrow on the screen to the corresponding tiny icons. “These all have generic names right now, but once you get used to the system you can rename them however you want. What else… we have the word processing program, a document viewer.”  
Agent Collins pushed himself upright again. “I think that’s everything you need for now. If there is anything you have to consider for any specific task we’ll let you know. Also if you have questions don’t hesitate to ask me or anyone else here.” Loki turned in his swivel chair to look at Agent Collins. “Oh, right!” Agent Collins snapped his fingers. “All of us here know some sign language, and a lot are pretty fluent. In ASL that is, for any other sign language you’d have to ask specifically. As for the Agents outside of our department, there’s a lot who know at least the basics in ASL, but yeah, just try and if they don’t understand you they’ll point you to someone who will.” Loki nodded. “ _Alright. I think I will manage._ “  
Agent Collins made a fist with his thumb sticking out which Loki had come to learn was a general sign of approval. “Perfect. Oh, and before I forget, here is your phone.” He handed Loki a think black device. “Also SHIELD-issued, and the numbers of all the agents of this department are already saved on there. Did you get yourself a phone yet?” Loki shook his head. He didn’t really have any use for it. “This one is only for professional use, so you should get yourself a private phone as well.” Loki would have to think about that. He nodded anyway.  
“There are still a few hours left, so I’ll sent you a first task. Again, if you have any questions, I’ll be at my desk.” With that, Agent Collins left Loki alone, and soon enough, the inbox of his emails had a red dot next to its name to inform Loki of a new message.  
Sure, Loki was - again - stuck with translating Midgardian languages; for now. But Loki could wait. And anyway, this had gotten him to New York. SHIELD had contacts, and influence; both things that Loki valued very much.

And Loki also had a separate keyboard that he could place on his lap, and a swivel-y chair with wheels – features which Loki had to resist _very_ hard to not test out right now.

So really, Loki would manage.

 

**

After a month Loki was more or less settled in. Work at SHIELD was going smoothly, he was doing his assignments and keeping mostly to himself. He still noticed some Agents scrutinizing him from time to time – but what was new with that.  
He’d also found a park that was not all too far from his apartment, larger than the one in Norway and with much more people, but there was grass and trees and even some flowers. He went there at night, aware that he had to be careful now, much more careful. So he went running and did stretches in the dark; but everything else he kept in his apartment.

On the weekends during that time, Loki did not leave his apartment. He got food and everything else he needed during the week on his way back from SHIELD.  
So he spend his free time by reading books he got at the library or researching things he didn’t know about on the internet, and doing stretches and routines of fighting stances in between.

 

This weekend however, Loki made himself leave his apartment to seek out the room with the washing machines. He’d gathered everything except for the soft pants and pullover he was wearing in the basket he’d found in another cupboard, tucked the laundry detergent under his arm and walked down the four flights of stairs to the basement. 

The room had multiple white rectangular devices, which Loki supposed were either washing machines or dryers. He’d looked those terms up on the internet, so he was at least able to figure out which ones were what. Now he just had to figure out the buttons and labels at the top. They were slightly different from what he’d read, but Loki was pretty sure he got the right adjustments for what he wanted. 

He was putting the items he was supposed to wash hot into a machine when someone walked into the room. A tall man with light caramel coloured hair, who nodded at Loki as their eyes met.  
The man went to wash his own clothes, and Loki tried his best to ignore him, even if it meant partially turning his back to that person. He hastily stuffed the rest of his things into another machine and pressed the start buttons.

The man shifted. Loki’s fingers twitched.

The machines started and the little displays told him how long it would take. Loki grabbed his laundry detergent and shoved it into the basket with a little more force than necessary. 

The man glanced at Loki.

Loki pressed his thumbnail into the side of his index finger. _Calm down._ There was a door right there, he could walk out at any time.

Loki pressed the basket to his stomach and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sorry for the long wait, but my exams are over now, so here's a new chapter. I hope you enjoy it.  
> Comments and criticism are very much appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

So, Antony Stark.

Loki had typed in that name in the search bar on his Laptop, not really expecting to find anything of relevance. If Mr. Stark was able to threaten SHIELD, he would want to be hard to find.

Or so Loki had thought.

Because Mr. Stark was anything but hard to find. And he was definitely not what Loki had thought.   
Instead, he was some sort of famous. Famous and apparently very rich, very smart and very arrogant.  
He owned Stark Industries, which had recently switched from manufacturing weapons to devoting their resources to research with a main focus in clean and sustainable energy.

Mr. Stark had also developed an armor that had built in weapons – the irony – and allowed him to fly. He called it ‘Iron Man’ - even though the metal alloy of the armor was not actual iron.

This Antony Stark was not exactly approachable, if Loki could trust the countless articles written about him. He used this Iron Man armor to fight people who wanted war and destruction, but he did not really pay attention to the pleas of an individual; he acted after his own will.  
But he also appeared to be extremely smart. He’d developed that armor and upgraded it several times, and he developed a technology that could power entire buildings.

As far as Loki could tell he had the most advanced technology on Midgard. Getting to know Antony Stark might be the best shot Loki had.

He just needed to figure out how to do that.

 

**

 

His work at SHIELD had become slightly more interesting. It started with him accompanying Agents to question or negotiate with someone they needed sign language for. Loki realized it wasn’t really necessary for him to come as he mostly used American sign language; but there were a few instances they needed Spanish sign language; and one time they needed Chinese.  
Loki had continued learning the sign languages he did not know, and Chinese had luckily been one of them. 

In any case, these had most likely been for SHIELD to see how well he would do in these circumstances, and if he was even useful at all. And he met whatever criteria they set, because in the following week he was assigned a mission. That meant he still accompanied Agents as a translator, but now to different countries.  
That also meant he was required to undergo a medical examination first to check if he was ‘fit’.   
He had to take his shirt of, and his illusion had held just long enough.

 

For his actual assignments they went to Asia and Africa in the span of one week, and the most excruciating part was the traveling. They flew with what was called a jet, and he had to spend hours at a time in a small enclosed metal tube.  
The Agent he was with asked him several times if he was all right; she thought Loki was scared of flying, which suited him just fine. At least that way she didn’t question it any further.

But he paraphrased everything he was supposed to, and after the debriefing on Friday Agent Coulson told him personally he’d done his job well.

 

When he came back to his apartment that afternoon thoroughly exhausted, he took a quick shower, flopped onto his bed face down and slept for the first time in two weeks. 

 

 

He woke up Saturday night to a too warm apartment. Of course he’d forgotten to turn on his air conditioner. It wasn’t as stiflingly hot as when he’d first arrived in New York in the middle of summer; but still. His skin was itching and his already difficult appetite was practically nonexistent.

Loki took another shower – because he could, because he wanted to - with his hair pinned up, standing under the cold spray until he’d scrubbed patches of his skin red.

He rubbed lotion into his skin, and got dressed. Slowly ate a a few slices of the bread he’d made himself – not as good as it could be, but still better than that soft something they labeled bread here. Drank a few glasses of cold water. 

Loki was fidgeting in his chair.

He needed to do something.

So Loki worked out for about an hour before leaving his apartment at two in the morning to head to the park.

He left his water bottle a tree not far from the track and began to run.

 

**

 

Loki was leaning against the tree with one hand as he stretched his calf with the other until it stopped cramping. 

Then he sat down to rest his back against the trunk of the tree, and closed his eyes.  
He should have probably eaten more earlier.

Well.

It only took a while of slow breathing for his head to stop swimming. A few sips of the water for his stomach to calm down.

Good; good. He was fine.

He continued to stretch.

 

 

Loki was carefully stretching his right thigh when he noticed another person running around the park. Loki kept watching as he switched to the other thigh. What was that person doing running in the park in the middle of the night?

But then, who was Loki to judge that.

The man paid no attention to Loki at first, running straight past the tree Loki was sitting next to.  
Loki stared after him. He was fast for a Midgardian. Very fast.

Loki continued with his routine. When the man ran past him the next time, Loki had subtly positioned himself so he was able to see his face. 

Which had Loki staring after him again. It was the man from the laundry room. 

Fantastic.

Loki hadn’t been ...in the best of moods, and the nervousness that had been simmering just below the surface had made his stomach twist with anxiety.

That guy probably thought Loki’s behavior extremely odd.

But what was new with that.

Loki stretched his muscles a little longer than necessarily needed, and watched the stranger some more.

 

 

Eventually the stranger slowed down until he came to a stop at the tree Loki was currently rigorously stretching his forearms. He gave Loki a quick nod of acknowledgement and leaned against the tree to have a drink. 

For the way he had run he did not actually seem that much out of breath.

Well, he certainly looked fit enough. 

Loki watched him warily as the stranger let out a sigh and turned to face him.

“Hi, uh...” He shifted, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “Look, I’m sorry if I weirded you out.”

Loki’s eyebrows shot up. He hadn’t expected that. But he shook his head at the man and waved it off.

“Okay... I’m Steve.” He said that somewhat hesitantly. 

Well, it was worth a try, so Loki lifted his hands and signed. 

_‘Luca’_

“Uh.” So Steve did not know sign language. “Sorry, can you maybe write it down?” Loki raised an eyebrow at him.  
“Or type it out on your phone?” 

Well. 

Despite Agent Collin’s recommendation, Loki had not gotten a private phone. He hadn’t really seen the point. And he hadn’t actually had a need for it. 

He molded his face into an apologetic smile.

Steve seemed to debate with himself for a few seconds. “Here, you can use mine.” He pulled his own phone out of the pocket of his pants and sat down across from Loki. He tapped it a few times and then held it out to Loki.

Okay then. 

Loki chewed on his lower lip as he hesitantly took the phone out of Steve’s hand. On the screen was a white background with the keypad open.   
Loki squinted at Steve. His intentions seemed innocent enough.

So Loki typed it out and then handed the phone back to Steve.

_‘My name is Luca.’_

Steve looked at the text. Raised both eyebrows. 

And then smiled. 

“Hi Luca.” 

He had a shy smile. Friendly.

“You’re not from here, are you?”

Loki frowned at Steve. Why did he think that?  
But he took the offered phone.

_‘I’m from Norway. I just moved here recently.’_

Steve looked at the screen, but didn’t take the phone back.

“Okay. So what brings you here?”

_‘Work.’_

Steve nodded.

“What do you do for work? If you don’t mind me asking that is...”

Loki considered. 

Oh, why not.

_‘I work as a translator.’_

Steve’s eyes shot up to Loki.

“A translator?”

_‘Yes, well, I type my translations out most of the time.’_

“Huh. What language do you do? Or languages.”

Loki eyed Steve. _‘A few.’_

Steve smirked. An amused, dimpling one cheek kind of smirk; but it held no malice. 

Loki typed out a question of his own.

_‘What about you?’_

Steve, again, seemed surprised by that. 

“I… was in the army.”

That didn’t sound very enthusiastic.

_‘But not any more?’_

“I’m kind of… retired? From the army, anyway. I do …consultancy work.”

And that didn’t sound dubious at all.

Steve seemed to grimace at his own words; he ran a hand through his hair and said, “No, it’s just… I was in the army for a while, and when I got out I had a hard time adjusting to normal life. A… someone who has experience with people like me ” - Steve laughed nervously at that - ”offered me a job, and… yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck, not quite making eye contact. “And that’s what I’m doing now.” 

What was Loki supposed to make of that? Steve hadn’t actually said what it was he was doing; and it seemed like he didn’t want to say. Well then. It wasn’t like Loki had been all that forthcoming. 

If Steve didn’t want to talk, Loki wouldn’t push.  
Its not like he even cared terribly much.

Loki was pulled out of his musings when Steve cleared his throat.

“Anyways. How do you like New York so far.”

Loki almost smirked. Very smooth change of topic. But then he was reminded so much of Thor that his chest tightened painfully; he had to swallow repeatedly before he was able to unclench his hands.

At least he’d managed to not crush Steve’s phone.

Loki glanced at Steve quickly, and then typed out a response. He ignored Steve’s slight frown. 

_‘It’s alright. A bit much perhaps. Quite a change for me.’_

Oh yes, quite a change; quite a change indeed. 

Steve’s expression softened, and he nodded.

“Yeah, I get that. I felt that way too. I mean, I still don’t think I’m really used to ...everything.” Steve huffed a quiet laugh. He stared into the distance for a few seconds; then he snapped out of it, looking decided.

“You know, if you need help with anything, you’re more than welcome to ask me.”

What? Loki stared at Steve, frowning. Where did that come from? 

Steve seemed to sense Loki’s incredulity.

“No really, I told you, I know what that feels like. How overwhelming everything can be.” Steve ran a hand through his hair again. “You’ve probably got your own people to deal with it, I don’t want to impose myself.” Steve regarded Loki with his eyebrows slanted slightly. 

No, Loki did not have his own people. There were the people he worked with at SHIELD, sure, but he couldn’t talk to them about his own personal problems.

He didn’t want to, anyway. 

But Steve right now looked so honest and open that it hurt.

“But in case there is anything I can help you with, even if it’s moving your sofa, I’d be happy to.”

Loki carefully unclenched his jaw, and swallowed down the taste of blood.

Steve meant what he was saying; but why? 

Loki’s first instinct was to turn the offer down and run. As he always did.

No. Not always. There had been a time where he’d gone to his brother for everything, and of his own accord. When had that changed? 

And where had pushing Thor and everyone else away led to, anyway? Did Loki really want to continue down that path?

No. He didn’t.

He could feel the anxiety boiling in his stomach already; but he forced himself to look Steve in the eye and nod.

Steve smiled that soft smile again.

“I live in apartment 432. You can give me your phone number, if you want. Or I can give you mine later.”

But Loki didn’t have a phone. Did Loki need a phone? He’d decided not since there was no reason he needed one for. No person he needed one for.

But he could change that. Did he want to isolate himself forever?

No, not really. 

Asking for help seemed like such a foreign thing to Loki that everything in him shied away from that thought.

But no; he’d decided already. If he continued on as he was, nothing would ever change. Nothing would ever get better.

Before he could change his mind, Loki typed on Steve’s phone and jerked his arm up for Steve to read it.

_‘I don’t actually have a phone. I wanted to get one, but I don’t really know what to look for. If you've time, I would appreciate your help with that.’_

Steve did not look bothered at all as he read the text.

“Sure thing. We could go to a shop together and buy one, if you want. Is next Saturday good? If we go early, there won’t be as much people.”

Loki forced himself to nod. 

“We can meet in the entrance of our apartment building, at half past eight. Is that okay?”

Loki nodded his head again.

“Great.” Steve smiled at him. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Steve spoke up again. “Well, I’m going to head home for now.” He looked at Loki expectantly.

Loki handed the phone back to Steve.

_‘Go ahead. I’ll stay here for a while.’_

“Alright.” Steve stood up and pocketed his phone. “See you on Saturday then.”

He gave Loki a small wave before walking away.

Loki waited until Steve had left the park and then some more before he finally pushed himself off the ground, and walked back to the apartment building slowly.

Was this a good idea? He didn’t know.

He hated himself for being so anxious. There was a reason why he isolated himself so much.

 

Loki was breathing erratically by the time he fumbled his way into his apartment. He just wanted to curl up in bed and stay there.

 

He yanked his jacket off and almost stumbled removing his shoes.

 

He felt so sick he wanted to cry.

 

At least he made it to the bathroom before throwing up.


End file.
